Wednesday 1 August 2007

What Should I Do?

In these last two semesters I get more convinced of one thing I hold on, that is, man and woman should not associate freely, at least not in IAIN—where I am studying—or more specific not for me. Of course this must not be confused with freedom of every single person to do what he/she wants.

On the contrary what I propose here is more related with freedom of each to perform his/her best without being pressured by any psychological burden which usually happens among of which is not to make a man’s appearance look bad in front of her and so does to a woman.
Let I try to elaborate this more clearly. Man and woman are created with an inherent instinct to like—or to love—their opposite sex. This is not a problem in itself but the problem may exist in how-to like and certain processes after it. More exactly problems seem to appear if, firstly they associate so freely to the extent that is unlawful and/or secondly they are too young to be full-aware of what they do.
Actually man and woman are free to relate each other as long as they fulfill at least two conditions. Firstly, they must be within law limits as described in Quran and by examples from the Prophet. So many examples from the Prophet obviously show that limitation of man-woman associating should not less freedom of both to perform whatever they want, to the extent that I myself sometime feel surprised.
Secondly, therefore they must be full-aware of every consequence they might face after it. I mean to still be in light of Quran and Hadith. Consider one case in which someone loves other. In such this there may be two possibilities; one loves the right person by whom I mean it is lawful to propose to marry that girl, i.e., not being engaged yet and so; or he loves the wrong person, i.e., having been betrothed by someone else and to whom then become unlawful to get engaged.
In both cases someone have to solve his problem. In the first case one should still strive not to commit unlawful deeds. But it is something very hard to do perfectly, as I experienced mainly in first days of July this year in spite of our commitment. Yet there remain possibilities to keep the rule of divine laws if both have consciousness of them. To say so in ordinary student’s daily life might sound problematical. Experiencing by my self, to me and perhaps for some similar to me it is far more effective if you study without being disturbed by any such problems. And it hardly happens in situation like that. However it must not make things lost their order as they are, that is, revolution, in contrast, it seem more accepted to exchange the opposite ideas toward more comfortable learning environment. All I want to say here is to discuss more deeply regarding this problem within which I am sure we are being involved, or at least we have friends involving. Just to make a more comfortable academical sphere.

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