Few days back I read small book talking about love. In the book loving is divided into two ways, to love someone emotionally and rationally. The first means you can’t predict and control what you feel. It’s just like in a proverb flow as the wind blows. But there are two signs inherent in this kind of love, passion and egoism. Further the author writes that passion makes someone falling in love is only able to think of his/her couple, but it can be a kind of egoism as well because he/she think of his/her couple only as far as he/she idealize his/her couple and such idealizing makes them satisfied and happy.
That’s why when their couple are not like what they idealize, they feel sad and possibly the love could even change into hatred. Usually this unpleasant condition is caused by something unreal rather than real condition, because both sides aren’t available to talk what they feel and become in their own selfishness. According to what the author writes this love is incomplete love or we may possibly call it as childish love (but it’s what happens most J). To make this love complete we need to the other type of love which is by the author called rational love. Referring to Erich Fromm’s well-celebrated book, The Art of Loving, such love is dominated by reason instead of dominance of passion and it can lead the lover to do full-awareness actions. The rational love needs four factor to fulfil; care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.
When you love someone you need to give attention to him/her sincerely, in his/her life, personal progress, and happiness.
When you love someone you must have responsibility of yours, of his/her life, you are always available for yours, for his/her difficulties and problems. But this doesn’t necessary mean you dominate him/her, because…..
When you love someone you have to admire yours, not to adore him/her like a king or a queen but to respect him/her (from Latin respicere means to see or to look at). You shouldn’t see yours like what you ask, you have to see him/her as the way they are.
Gestalt Prayer
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine
(Frederick Perls)
In my opinion instead of dominating two people loving each other have to adapt with his/her couple.
And when you love someone you should know yours, his/her personality, his/her background shaping him/her so you can understand him/her well. You are obliged to know that his/her personality is always in progress. Someone who doesn’t understand his/her pair can’t love him/her honestly, which frequently happens in young people relationship. That’s why it had better to feel love in a good, proper, correct way according to Syariah.
March 21, 2007. 4:20 pm
P.S. to me love seems to be more relating with feeling rather than reason, so what is so called rational love is just an organized love, it means, that is, it is love governed by reason not to destroy both sides.
Wednesday 21 March 2007
On Loving Emotionally and Rationally
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7 comments:
love--so far as couple relations-- is the work of another side of mind some call it "feeling". when feeling prevail, another side of mind called "logic" or reason set aside.
love could emerge from either feeling or reason or both.
the ideal one is when love is created by both feeling and reason.
if we were to choose between the two, however, the love with logic is more preferable and everlasting because we do it with more logical and rational consideration.
good reflection. are you in love? which kind of love which is dominating your mind?
hehe
to me love not only the words, love need action, it means grayah2, dating, pes tepes!!!! you what I means?
Your mentor in Love
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