It remains a hard thing; to fully forget her. But I still insist at least not to always remember her all times, as happened along these two semesters. Actually problems risen in those times was not because of her. It is all about me; my mistake. More exactly I am rather an easily-obsessed man.
When I like something or someone I without difficulty become very devotee of that. Except I can forget it, I will always associate almost everything I can with what I like. And sadly or happily what happened to me was related with someone in very long term relationship. It is a relationship not to be done immediately now for many reasons one of which is culture surrounding me. It relates, as in many other Indonesian cultures, with my parents and of course her parents. But for now all I want to do is how to make myself not always think of her and ideally speaking to make my study better. It does not mean that I want to leave her in contrast I want to keep our relationship purified and hence successful. Nothing in this world can you suppose to be separated from God’s power. It means we have to go through this path in accordance with Divine Law. There was, and still is a guarantee from the Prophet that whoever pray to Allah surely He will response his/her prayer.
As long as you walk on and do everything rightly, by referring back to rules within the Two Sources. Without any doubt if you enter the house through the doors available you will get in successfully. But, as usual, problems in reality is not so simple as you find it in literature books, you need your best effort to achieve what you want to. There are so many cultural walls we have to face. However we can overcome them; referring to the Two Sources nothing is able to hamper. We can discuss all rationally, and I am convinced to do it.
Although basically I want to discuss this with my family about whom I must concern, prejudices soon emerge and make me have to hide my problem from them. It is hard to do so, yet I have no other options.
I am sure one cannot be in eternal happiness if one does not refer to It. Certainly I want to tell my parents about her, because I live in a tradition not allowing
Friday 17 August 2007
International Research Association
Rianti and Headscarf
It was little bit surprising when I read in Jawa Pos dated August 15 2007 in entertainment page. There was a news about Rianti Cartwright MTv’s VJ and an actress. What made me surprised is, projected to portray a woman with veil, when he said that someday she will wear the jilbab and that this must please her mother. This reveals something in her deep under-conscious she has will to wear and therefore a conviction that it is a good thing to do. It seems to me as something borne in mind that it...
to be continued
Wednesday 1 August 2007
What Should I Do?
In these last two semesters I get more convinced of one thing I hold on, that is, man and woman should not associate freely, at least not in IAIN—where I am studying—or more specific not for me. Of course this must not be confused with freedom of every single person to do what he/she wants.
On the contrary what I propose here is more related with freedom of each to perform his/her best without being pressured by any psychological burden which usually happens among of which is not to make a man’s appearance look bad in front of her and so does to a woman.
Let I try to elaborate this more clearly. Man and woman are created with an inherent instinct to like—or to love—their opposite sex. This is not a problem in itself but the problem may exist in how-to like and certain processes after it. More exactly problems seem to appear if, firstly they associate so freely to the extent that is unlawful and/or secondly they are too young to be full-aware of what they do.
Actually man and woman are free to relate each other as long as they fulfill at least two conditions. Firstly, they must be within law limits as described in Quran and by examples from the Prophet. So many examples from the Prophet obviously show that limitation of man-woman associating should not less freedom of both to perform whatever they want, to the extent that I myself sometime feel surprised.
Secondly, therefore they must be full-aware of every consequence they might face after it. I mean to still be in light of Quran and Hadith. Consider one case in which someone loves other. In such this there may be two possibilities; one loves the right person by whom I mean it is lawful to propose to marry that girl, i.e., not being engaged yet and so; or he loves the wrong person, i.e., having been betrothed by someone else and to whom then become unlawful to get engaged.
In both cases someone have to solve his problem. In the first case one should still strive not to commit unlawful deeds. But it is something very hard to do perfectly, as I experienced mainly in first days of July this year in spite of our commitment. Yet there remain possibilities to keep the rule of divine laws if both have consciousness of them. To say so in ordinary student’s daily life might sound problematical. Experiencing by my self, to me and perhaps for some similar to me it is far more effective if you study without being disturbed by any such problems. And it hardly happens in situation like that. However it must not make things lost their order as they are, that is, revolution, in contrast, it seem more accepted to exchange the opposite ideas toward more comfortable learning environment. All I want to say here is to discuss more deeply regarding this problem within which I am sure we are being involved, or at least we have friends involving. Just to make a more comfortable academical sphere.
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